I just closed on the purchase of a vehicle today, replacing my prior (and first) 1997 Ford Thunderbird.

I’ve cropped out her trunk because the photo’s actually from when she was rear ended by an old lady checking her phone, and I don’t need to show her off in a wounded state. I forget why I started calling her Emma, but it stuck. That was the name I used when I tracked her mileage in an app (she held steady at 13.7 MPG for years, but is currently about 12.5) and it’s what I called her earlier today when I finally said goodbye.

Not forever; Emma’s still in the family as a reliable backup car. My uncle’s got her on his property, and he’s also her regular mechanic. I first got her from my grandmother posthumously, when I was starting college and really did need to both get a car and get over my fear of driving, which itself was brought on by a nasty accident when I was a teenager that left me with a sick-ass scar and a delightful story about how we had a pickup pull out in front of us containing a pimp and drug dealer, a prostitute and a John while we were driving homecooked food to my sick grandmother. I got the nickname ‘Scarface’ for the rest of middle school. I’ve never been as cool as that. Stupid scar healed completely.

Anyway, Emma was a reliable ride. Safe for her age, and while she over the years started shuddering more, having little hiccups (and a couple times needing a tow) she always got me where I wanted to go. I know she’s not sentient and not even organic, but I’m big into personifying the impersonal. And frankly, Emma’s cute. Cute and the best car we could’ve asked for in the moments where we needed her. Me for college and beyond up until now. My grandmother, for her reliable ride so she could do her routine. The car originally belonged to a man my mother dated when I was young, and while I’ve got a foundational traumatic memory involving both my mother and he (nothing horrific, it just involved carrots and puke) it’s outshined by his generosity in not selling, but simply giving Emma to us when he traded up.

I’d like us to find someone who truly loves the 97 T-Bird aesthetic and is willing to put in the work to spruce Emma up to peak condition again. But if not? We’ll keep taking care of her and using her enough to make sure she doesn’t get stiff, although by ‘we’ I don’t include ‘me’ any longer (barring unforeseen consequences.) I won’t forget my cool first ride, though. It’ll be hard to top Emma. Even if that happens, it’s impossible to overwrite her.