For once, an entry that’s more of a journal than just ramblings on random subjects. Yesterday, for the second time in my life—and the first time in ten years almost to the dot—I tried myself some marijuana. Specifically, an edible purchased from a legal dispensary after qualifying in an amusingly short screening process for Louisiana’s Medical Marijuana program. I do have legitimate reasons and this was the primary motivating factor: a desire to not turn to prescription narcotics for anxiety/insomnia. Specifically, my insomnia involves not being able to stay asleep for more than 4-5 hours. I figure a bit of pot has got to be better than a possible benzo habit.
I went to this really chic place called The Apocathery Shoppe nearby which looked like it’d eventually open a branch up in River Ranch, our ‘well-to-do’ area of Lafayette. I told the people there I was brand new, what I wanted, and got a decent selection in return. I must confess, I don’t think they realized just how new I actually was because I ended up leaving with two different types of gummy edibles and three different types of pre-roll joints. Hey, bulk buying. One meant as more of a daytime use, and the other a relaxer for the evening that was actually a hybrid sort of affair. I figure pre-rolls are more expensive, but I’ve never been a big fan of smoking due to health worries + the smell is something I want to avoid day-to-day.
Anyway, so I took a daytime gummy yesterday afternoon. I knew that gummies take awhile to kick in, and it’d be a rookie mistake to take another one before the first kicked in. What I did not know is that a single-gummy 30mg THC dose is quite high for a first-timer. I found this out as it was just starting to kick in fully while I was playing World of Warcraft, mounted on my hippogryph and trying to understand why my kaldorei was so tall. I struggled with this notion for an hour. I barely moved. I didn’t take two gummies and go to Jupiter, I took one and went to Neptune. I talked a lot about fish men and being ‘the weapon’ or at times requesting ‘the weapon’ from a friend who was very amused by my failed attempts to stay on topic. I listened to some erotic hypnosis files from this cool lady who makes self-help and immersive scenery hypno tracks. I did not listen to Pink Floyd, but I did jam out to Ulrich Schnauss (phenomenal track here by the way)and watch a bit of ATHF for shiggles. I like it equally sober or stoned, it turns out.
Later that evening once I returned to Earth I (cautiously) tried a nighttime pre-roll. I smoked half, put it back, and found the smoke was a pleasant flavor but I wasn’t really more than just a tiny bit relaxed. As it turns out, I have a much stronger tolerance when inhaled versus the more potent liver-processed THC deposited from an edible. 30 fucking times the recommended starter dose for a total newbie. Sure, I smoked for the true first time a decade ago but it’s been a decade since I tried it.
Anyway, the important news is that I slept about an hour longer and had much more restful sleep. I woke up feeling fine, not groggy or exhausted. I took a brief nap in the afternoon which is my un(der)employed habit, and am typing right now 40 minutes from midnight a tiny bit weary-eyed but otherwise right on time for another 2PM shut-eye. I also felt, for a lack of a better word unbothered today. Not like I usually am, fretting over some personal setback or worldly crisis. I still read the news, still did my job application routine. But it just wasn’t as worrying as it usually is. I swear, it was like the mental version of what it felt like to first take hydroxizine after I went to the hospital for a heart attack and found out I was just having a panic attack. At least I took that panic attack better than my first adult one this time around, I suppose.
Perhaps tonight I’ll dream of cliffs and coasts, of lands Compo, Norman and Clegg would get up to schemes on. But I think a nice quartered gummy per day dose instead of entering 21 Jump Street territory will actually help keep my head on straight without being an overprescription. Good news! Mostly. Well, entirely I’m just still annoyed I’m not back to full-time hours, let alone an actual stable, full-time job. Come on, hiring managers. I can’t say it and I shouldn’t need to say it but I’m gonna be like, unreasonably loyal to whoever gives me a no-contract full-time gig I can afford to live on my own with. Like, bury-a-body loyal. Not literally but like, in the same ballpark. The ghost living in my bedroom needs her space too, we’ve been subletting too long. She’s good company for TV time though.
